The coconut oil is in a solid state!
It's below 75˚ in town!
Quick, someone do something!!!!
#thestruggleisreal
The trouble with being a clairvoyant is that blissful ignorance is never an option.
Spending 24 hours pacing my home like an anxious, caged animal. Stretching and breathing and cleaning and stretching more and painting scraps of wood and crying and working and just laying on the floor, holding my heart.
With no sense as to why...and yet knowing full well.
Denial and Hope what a peculiar pair they are.
When the truth finally hits, though tragic, my sixth sense can breath a sigh of relief because, yet again, she was accurate in her messaging.
Moving forward, I need to work on synchronizing her and I so we operate in real time lock step.
I think that would save me a lot of time currently spent rolling around on the ground.
(that was supposed to be comic relief)
I am grateful to know that I truly do deserve better.
Because I can't say that has always been the case.
Next step: Internalizing the truth that Better Exists.
Which, with just one fatal flaw in a lengthy list, is a tough reality to accept.
But that's the nature of fatal flaws, isn't it?
If I have faith that the entire planet deserves better with its' Neo-cons and Boko Haram and ISIS and Patriarchy.
If I can fathom that despite all the inevitables, somehow, better exists for the World.
Then surely I can apply the same to the microcosmic of self.
It's a matter of probability,
a numbers game.
I'm not a fan of games.
...or numbers.
...or people.
Sweet.
#BetterExists2015
(hashtags always make things seem more believable)
I
Fucking
Hate
Addiction.
With
Passion.
I've seen family members die.
Leaving their children behind.
I've seen loved ones disappear.
Leaving their soul behind.
And come back.
And disappear again.
F U C K Y O U A D D I C T I O N
There once was a day when a family came together with unexpected cause for celebration.
Now, the sweet and alcoholic guri-mosas just serve as an ironic and haunting reminder of the power of addiction.
Fuck this noise.
Li(e)(n)es spoken.
Li(e)(n)es repeated.
Lines drawn.
Lines crossed.
Lines re-drawn.
Like a fucking geography lesson,
of the USSR.
I've had it with lines.
I don't do well with linear, generally.
Yet there seems to be no reprieve.
No matter which direction I turn.
Somehow I missed the memo.
The one that informed us all:
Denial is preferable to observation.
Or maybe I didn't....
Photo credit: Not mine.
Easier said than done.
Photo credit: Michael Chad Photography
Spiritual boot camp.
Photo credit: Not mine.
Craft.
Tradition.
Legendary.
Winter swell + Konas = happy, satiated gills and girls.
By default I was just subjected to the trailer "The Boy Next Door."
The general plot was as follows:
- Frustrated working housewife/mother can't divorce her cheating husband. Has a one night stand with the strapping neighbor boy. Neighbor boy goes berserk when he can't get more. Neighbor boy turns into a revengeful stalker, ultimately putting the entire family at risk. Thus ensues the suspenseful chase scenes, violence, big explosions, and horror.
What I took from the trailer was as follows:
- Woman knows her husband is an arrogant, lying, cheating fuck-wad. Although she is stunning (Jennifer Lopez), gainfully employed as a teacher, and has support from her friends, she can't leave him. In a moment of "vulnerability," she sleeps with the neighbor boy who lusts for her. Rather than ask her husband for an open marriage, or perhaps an orgy with the neighbor boy and the secretary her husband fucks on the daily, she stays in a fearful silence. So now, she's terrified to tell her husband the truth, terrified to tell the school (where she teaches and the boy is a student) the truth and is subsequently stalked, threatened, emotionally, and physically tortured. And there is nowhere for her to go.
That - is an extremely fucked up message.
In summary:
- Men: Do whatever the fuck you want. Fuck whomever you want. Threaten the lives of whomever you want.
- Boys: It's okay to harass, stalk, threaten, and abuse women if they won't sleep with you.
- Women: Male infidelity is acceptable. Shut up, smile, and nod. Stop acting on your desires and deal with the violent consequences when you do.
Funny, this one time I thought it was 2015....not the fucking inquisition of 1515.
My mistake.
"We are the granddaughters of witches you could not burn."
Collaborative partnerships.
Free of runaway egos.
Full of boundless hearts.
A shared mission,
which honors the
strength in diversity,
the value of autonomy,
clear communication,
cooperation, and disclosure.
Gathering over good food.
Conceptualizing solutions.
Learning. Humbling. Always.
As above,
so below.
As in vocation,
so in love.
After all,
if done right,
both are simply
a true and honest calling...
One's drug of choice.
This lifetime.
...witnessed in a row.
Both movement induced.
Both productive...in their own unique way.
Both shared with a group of good hearted humans.
Whip it good.
Because who needs sleep, really?
...other than every species in Kingdom Animalia.
Om Mani Padme Hum.
Maithuna mystic moon.
Empirical observation still proves
the most reliable means of determining
much of anything.
Future not excluded.
Compassion can = clarity.
Compassion can = clouding.
Even for the clairvoyant.
The habitual temptation of surety
is just as dangerous
as the habitual pursuit of the unknown.
If only I had a Crystal Ball.
Then I would be...
...in precisely the same place.
That's the beauty of the naʻau.
It lets us make our own beds,
that we choose to sleep
(or not sleep)
with.
In.
"THE ORDEAL: Near the middle of the story, the hero enters a central space in the Special World and confronts death or faces his greatest fear. Out of the moment of death comes a new life."
Personal journal entry January 6, 2013
...of the New Year.
Mondays donʻt mean much of anything to the sea.
Indeed, all they have in common is the color blue.
Comfort food for the country spirit.
Not one, but two bowls of fish soup for you.
When in the Pācific, do as the Pācific Islanders.
Southern storm.
Swift and severe.
Shifts entire landscapes.
Shifts entire itineraries.
With plans of its' own.
Nature clearly approves this message.
with that which does.
